24 Yr.
Sometimes I feel so lonely in this house that was once so busy that I just want to drive across town to see him. But then I remember that I would have exploded had my parents done that when I was 24 and I refrain. Yet, it's so hard to go past his room every day that was once so messy because someone actually lived in it - it's so hard to go past that room and have it be so clean, so empty because all of his stuff got taken to college, and now to that apartment that he shares with his friends.
I suppose this is the literal definition of an 'empty nester' and I guess now is the point at which my life becomes a little bit more about me, rather than about my kid - but what if I miss him and just want him back here?
But it's not all bad, I should say that, it's not all bad in this stage of our lives. His is booming with activity, with his new job and that girl who he won't tell me about and his friends with all their various significant others and that apartment that I'm sure is super messy but they all have good jobs so they can pay for it... his life is bustling and exciting. And mine - I'm good at work, both at what I do and the environment there is good for me and I have such good friends and life is feeling more like my own in a good way, in that I can see my friends whenever I want to rather than being confined by his busy school schedule. And that is good and my relationships with them are so much better now than when we were busy with the kids just because we can see each other more often.
It's so crazy to look back on when we were younger - when all of us were younger, me and my friends and our kids - and we were all so innocent, just bumbling through the motions and hoping that it all turned out okay and it all did turn out okay. We turned out okay and our kids turned out okay and the crazy thing is that it's not over yet. We all turned out okay and we still have more of life to live, more motions to jump through and hope it turns out okay, more moments to laugh in and be excited about and joyful and more fights to have and parenting roles to have and then relinquish, more or less, and more moments to just have in general...
I suppose this is the literal definition of an 'empty nester' and I guess now is the point at which my life becomes a little bit more about me, rather than about my kid - but what if I miss him and just want him back here?
But it's not all bad, I should say that, it's not all bad in this stage of our lives. His is booming with activity, with his new job and that girl who he won't tell me about and his friends with all their various significant others and that apartment that I'm sure is super messy but they all have good jobs so they can pay for it... his life is bustling and exciting. And mine - I'm good at work, both at what I do and the environment there is good for me and I have such good friends and life is feeling more like my own in a good way, in that I can see my friends whenever I want to rather than being confined by his busy school schedule. And that is good and my relationships with them are so much better now than when we were busy with the kids just because we can see each other more often.
It's so crazy to look back on when we were younger - when all of us were younger, me and my friends and our kids - and we were all so innocent, just bumbling through the motions and hoping that it all turned out okay and it all did turn out okay. We turned out okay and our kids turned out okay and the crazy thing is that it's not over yet. We all turned out okay and we still have more of life to live, more motions to jump through and hope it turns out okay, more moments to laugh in and be excited about and joyful and more fights to have and parenting roles to have and then relinquish, more or less, and more moments to just have in general...
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